Itinerary for Crowning the Capitol

Crowning the Capitol

6/1/2010 – 6/5/2010

150 miles from the Missouri State Capitol to the Hospital Hill Run at Crown Center in Kansas City

The itinerary:
Tuesday 6/1 1:00 PM leave Jeff City go 62.9 miles in 25 hours
Wednesday 6/2 3:00 PM arrive at Super 8
Thursday 6/3 5:00 AM go 28 miles in 10 hours.

3:00 PM arrive at Murdock Banner Financial Group, Warrensburg
Friday 6/4 7:00 AM leave Warrensburg go 55 miles in 24 hours
Saturday 6/5 7 AM arrive on Hospital Hill Run 1/2 marathon race course.


The challenge - "Crowning the Capitol." The plan is to run from the State Capitol building along 50 highway to the finish line of the Hospital Hill Run at Crown Center. That is 150 miles. The run will be like two 100k's with a 50k in the middle.

The opportunity - “Vote for the dyeing.” I have grown a Hulk Hogan style set of whiskers and they are mostly white. I want you to help decide what color these whiskers will be as I run down the side of 50 highway between Jefferson City and Kansas City. Red - White - Blue. You choose.

The vote - for each one dollar donation to the Don Linville Memorial Fund you get one vote.

Picture it now, you see, I built the crown from a milk jug and painted it florescent yellow. I embellished it with UCM Mules and bling. I'll wear that crown and the color of whiskers that draw the most votes for four days up 50 highway to the Hospital Hill Run.

Vote today - Vote on ACTIVE.com here or Mail a check to Don Linville Event Fund, PO Box 30554, Columbia, MO 65205 - make a note of your vote, or write on the wall of my Facebook event page.

Please, vote early and often. You can vote as much as you want. I'll keep you posted how the vote is going.

You can still sign up to run the Hospital Hill Run on the Don Linville Memorial Fund team and get a discount. Just drop me a line or give me a call and I'll give you the discount code.

A great opportunity for fans of the Don Linville Scholarship to help a student athlete carry on Don's dream.

The Freak Wins All!

by Jim Linville

March 29, 2010

I thought it was suppose to be sunny. Yeah, isn't that always the plan. Ultra running is such a time consuming hobby that you really need to run whenever you get a chance. But still, I may end up putting the Saturday run off to until Sunday, if it is suppose to be sunny. Of course, you really can't afford to do that and still burn the candle at both ends. Some days you have to decide if you're a runner or a race director. A husband or a father. A man or a freak. The freak often wins all.

The 150 mile Crowing the Capitol adventure trek is not the craziest idea I've had. It is just the one I am currently trying to master. There are a couple of other treks that are the same distance I am planning on experiencing. This event should tell me that I can do that distance and open the door to the others. This last weekend I made 20 miles on my long run. It felt really good on the way out. I would like to be running twice that far by now. But it seems, at least for me, that half of battle of ultra distance adventure running is pain management. We solved the problem of my little toe next to the littlest toe. That was good. But the chafing,.. man,.. that's got to stop. I would hate to DNF for chafing.

I went to my favorite ultra running web site and I'm told to try a farm product called utter butter or bag balm. I did go to our local farm supply store and of course there was a girl I know there to help me. "Excuse me. Can you tell me where the utter balm is?" "You mean the bag balm? You just past it. Are you serious? What are you going to do with bag balm?"

Let's just hope it does the trick. The problem is the 10 pounds I put on every winter. You would think my body would know I'm going to be running that off. You would think that between my thighs is the last place my body would try to store 10 extra pounds of fat. But noOOoooo! "Let's put it right here where we can remember where we put it."

I never really get out of shape or in shape for that matter, it's all a matter of conditioning. I've got a picture here for you of a hill that is just four miles from my home. Going out it is a long slow hill. Not bad at all to climb. Coming back home it is tall and steep. I always think of that one song, this hill tells me "what condition my condition is in". If I can run all the way up that hill, I didn't go too far. If I have to walk up this hill, it is going to be a long four miles home.

I made a friend climbing that hill one time. She was conditioning for a trek in the Rockies. I see her most weekends. We are usually going opposite directions. "Hi Tina!" "Hi Jim" "going to rain?" "Looks like it." But sometimes we get a couple of miles to share. She has good stories.

I added two miles this week. They were miles I had not seen before on foot. The creek bottoms were pretty cool. After I got up the hill on the other side there was this sign, "dangerous hill". Don't you think they could of told me that before I climbed it?

What I learned from the Middle Of the Road: I know from the miles that I've seen that I can go as far as I can see. I know from the people I've met that I'll like the people I meet.

Blog Crown the Capitol

Thoughts about Ultra Running by Jim Linville

SuperBowl Sunday, I should be running. I'm not. Ultra running is such a time consuming hobby I get in a habit of putting stuff off so I can run or sleep, or eat, oh yeah,.. and work. With the holidays in December and the new year's launch of January, I have slipped out of shape and out of the routine drive to get out and get in the street. I gained 10 pounds!

Those of you that know me know that I have a goal of finishing the Bad Water. From that stand point Dean Karnazes is my hero, ww.ultramarathonman.com is one of my favorite sites and Kevin Sayers Ultra Running Resource www.ultrunr.com is where I go for advice. I am an ultra runner. For a 10 to 15 mile run to max me out is depressing. But, that is where I am. Can I get to a point in my conditioning to be able to complete a 150 mile run by June 5th? Yes, I can.

In this blog I'll try to relate to you some of the more minute details of this journey. I'll try to avoid some of the more routine. For instance; I've had an issue with the toe next to my littlest toe on my left foot. It seems as though my foot is rolling over on the toe pad and pinching a blister. I've tried several different things from wrapping the toe to different levels of control shoes. I've decided that the orthodics that I was prescribed 5 years ago are no longer what I need. Running in the standard inserts that came with the shoe is relieving the blistering with no obvious damage to my feet or ankles.

Valentine's Day weekend and between the temperature, the weather front moving in and my feet still adjusting to the absence of prescription orthodics, I turned back at 7 miles out. A 14 mile run in four and half hours, I'm okay with that.

LOL Marathon 2010 - In Other Words

Race report by Jim Linville

The third occasionally annual Laughing Out Loud Marathon went off without a hitch. Xavier Sublime was Master of Ceremonies at the home of Cody and Hayley Garnett. After taking turns at winning hands of chess and consuming some of the most fabulous hot chocolate, Xavier declared "it's time to jelly, ... Let's stone and bisquit!" (in other words, rock and roll).

The Laughing Out Loud Marathon is, in other words, a rare opportunity for good friends to get together and express support and unity. With temperatures stuck in the single digits for days on end, four degrees was almost normal for these guys. With the forcasters warning everyone to stay inside and threatening with the scare tactics of "your skin will freeze," these people seem to be dedicated enthusiests, in other words, insane.

Co-director Andy Emerson, Steve Kullman and Andy Starostka competed for prizes and their places in history. It was 4 degrees at 10:17 and "runners to your mark."

Steve Kullman came in at 1 hour and 38 minutes and took the most unique short cut prize of a $5 chess game. Andy Emerson came in second at 2:02 claiming to have ran a half marathon, (there is no prize for that). Andy Starostka took the covetted Dead Ass Last prize of his own Play & Freeze Ice Cream Maker coming in with a 2:03 time on what he claimed to be a half marathon. Mike Denehy owner of Off Track Events the sponsor of the LOL Marathon donated some great door prizes and Off Track memorabilia.

Andy Emerson shared some of his experience in his own words: "The cold weather did not deter us since the 3 of us mentioned before 2 miles we were quite warm. We lost Steve on Paris Rd and the two Andy's ran together from this point. The snow covered part of the course on the Bear Creek Trail was tough to run. We were glad to hit the road again and thankful we were only planning to run 3 more miles. We rounded off to 13.1 to make a half marathon. I beat Andy Starostka up the stairs to race headquarters and our official timer so I officially beat him. After, we enjoyed the hot chocolate provided by the marathon hosts out of their home and collected some great door prizes. Even though I did not finish the entire marathon, I plan to run the rest of the course at a later date and award myself a medal at that time."

That's the spirit of the Laughing Out Loud, everyone is a winner.

Andy Starostka ran the LOL for the first time this year and had this to say, "Maybe next year I will do the entire distance, but the first loop was plenty for me this time. As mentioned, the Bear Creek Trail was snow covered and did a good job of kicking my butt. By the time I made it back to the house, I had more than enough. The ice crem maker was a great "pink elephant" gift and my 6 YO asked about 20 times both Saturday and Sunday when we were going to make some ice cream. I ended up hiding it for reasons of domestic tranquility. I am rather new to the Columbia scene, but have enjoyed the relaxed and friendly atmospere of this group."

Thanks Andy, we'll take that as a compliment. We'll also take Andy's advice of setting "a goal of increasing enteries by 100% for 2011." We'll try talk Mike Denehy into putting the race on next year. What a job that man does of putting on a race. Mike suggested, "Nice, work everyone. Three LOLs in the bag. This was definitely the wackiest of them yet. The days before the event hoovered in the artic sub zero temps. No one in their right minds would ever show up for such madness. The snow and the streets were covered in a nasty black soot."

The One Eyed Purple People Eater reflects on the Rolling Ramble

All photos by Kevin Dingman

I love people. They are delicious.

Wednesday night started out pretty much an average night. I was dragging down Park Avenue. It was about 7:00 PM and good golly there was a whole covey of cyclists. There must of been 20 or more. I mosied up a little closer to see just exactly what they were up to. Blind Pilot? Now that sounds dangerous. That is exactly one of the reasons I run. There are simply too many machines in the world today. Noah Earle, very interesting mis-spelling. E-A-R-L-E. Everyone knows you spell it I-R-L.

That Skeleton, the Master of Mayhem, lived up to his reputation tonight. Across town some of the normal cyclists had corralled all of the cyle haters at an information forum. Meanwhile, all the freaks were taking complete controll of the downtown streets. EYE LOVED IT!!

If humans were really concerned about harassment, I was the victim of harassment. So many young men are turned on to that pink dress I scored off of one of my recent diners. I know. I was intrigued by it, too. I can't blame them for all of the wolf whistles and flattering comments. Quite frankly, I was a little turned on by me myself.

I'm going to have to try one of the little tubbie creatures sometime. They really look like they would be an excelent meal. Perhaps with a white wine. It's just a little too late for the Master of Mayham . I think maybe he used to be just skin and bones. Now, just bones.

First Person insanity!

Do you have a story to tell? - Are you a survivor of Off Track Events? Would you like to share your story? The Off Track Events Blog is interested in posting your experience. Participants, volunteers and the shocked public should send an email to offtrackevents@gmail.com to have their story heard!

XCX 2008 - Through the Eye of the Purple People Eater

I love humans. They're delicious.

This looks like a very clever plan. I can get them to run down this hill and into that coral. Once I have them bottled up I can sort out them by texture.

I don't understand why there are so many in one place on such a cold and snowy day. Wait a minute. What are those colorful creatures invading my woods. That blue creature escorted by a large yellow bird and a funny looking human.

Quiet!! Stop shooting off all of those fireworks!! You'll scare away all of the humans!! Dog gone it who are those guys with the chain saws? Now wait a minute. Maybe I can get them to help me load some of the humans the back of my car. Yeah that seems to be working. The bright colored creatures seem to drawing the humans into the woods. they seem to be attracted to noise. Now if I can just keep them running this way... Fantastic! They are running straight into the coral maze. Woops. There are a lot of them getting through the chainsaws and running on into the woods. They will surely not make it out of here. What the cold and undergrowth doesn't get, the mud and the water will.

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The Mayor's Cup 2008 - The Champion Team reflects


We figured out that our next stop was at the corner of 9th and Cherry, and the clue we received was “Answer a Question and Ask a Question”—right away we spotted a man and woman with a microphone and camera set up outside Kaldi’s, and so we knew we were in the right place… we walked up and when they asked “Can we ask you a few questions?” we were ready! To our surprise, they began to ask us all about global warming, the carbon cycle, and greenhouse gases. This event is really extreme! we thought, but we were good sports and put our knowledge to the test. As the “interview” ended, we said, “Now do we get to ask you a question?” They looked at each other hesitantly, but said “Sure.” “What’s our next clue????” we shouted. They looked at each other again, even more puzzled. “What do you mean?” they asked us. Apparently, they were just there to film a segment for the local public TV station, and knew nothing about the Mayor’s Cup. I can’t imagine what they thought when two women in bicycle gear, costumes, and race numbers showed up enthusiastically wanting to be interviewed!!!! - Debi & Ella

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The Mayor's Cup 2008 - French Fry & Milk Shake Speak Up


I'll admit jumping on a bike early in the morning in a french fry costume is not how I usually spend my Saturdays, but after the Mayor's Cup race, who knows, it could happen again! My french fried self, as well as my milkshake partner Greg had no idea what to expect, but to say we were pleasantly surprised would be an understatement- what other race can you go on where you actually stop and eat ice cream or cookies, let alone wear costumes?

The race consisted of stops full of clues and treats. But also pictures. We weren't sure how pictures factored in to the point gathering (the most points wins) so we snapped photos every chance we got- bridal parties, swing sets, water balloon tossing and one broken window.

Take it from me, a first-timer, if you like to have fun, or if you are looking for something new to do, I definitely recommend the Mayor's Cup! And dress up in costume, there's nothing better than seeing the confused faces of people on the street! - Monica

LOL WTF!

Now that the LOL Run is over, we can finally all laugh out loud about it. It was definitely an event to remember. A little over a year ago Off Track Events launched the 2007 Inaugural year with the LOL Marathon. In support of the Columbia smoking ban the event debuted on a mid-January Wednesday at noon. Entry fee was $1. A dozen hearty souls showed up to run the 26.2 mile event. It was amazing.

Jim Linville and I decided to work together as race directors in 2008 and hoped to bring the LOL Run to a much larger audience. Our additions to this year was to add multiple distances for athletes of all abilities, move the event to the end of April, omit traditional road race rules and of course add a costume competition. Our goal was to create the ultimate fun non-competitive road race for Mid-Missouri.

The weather on the day of the event was perfect. The sky was clear and the temperature was on the brink of warm/cool. Ideal conditions! Around 70 participants showed up for the LOL Run. Before the event began we announced the winners. Glory was rewarded to those who came most creative. Top costume prizes were awarded. Everyone who came in costume was given a prize! After a few words of encouragement and direction from Spiderman and the dude in the pink dress the participants were on their way down the MKT, maps in hands looking for the directional arrows to lead them in the right direction.

The course was ambitious, hilly and never straight. Jim and I were the most challenged by the complexity of the ever twisting maze of directional arrows. We were up all night before the event placing 50 directional signs throughout Columbia. Some signs shared multiple directional arrows pointing in all directions. Organized chaos indeed. With only a handful of volunteers throughout the course, I hoped that each and every directional sign would remain standing come the moment the runners started passing by. Please nobody mess with the LOL signs!

Highlights from the course(s) include: 5 Columbia parks explored, dozens of insane hills (some of you may never forgive), awesome volunteers at aid stations, the Chicken and Gorilla along with their new friend Pumpkin G and a few amazing families along the course that set up stations in their front yards and encouraged runners as they ran past. Some of you may have had a chance to see the Unicycle rider tackle the 10k course with a child in a wagon and a dog running along side. Wow.

My alter ego for the day was Spiderman and I was the traveling aid station. Since I personally can't fire webbing from my wrists I covered the course in my (un)trusty '84 Honda Passport Scooter. A milk crate full of water, gels, and emergency gear. The weight of a gallon of water was more than the bike could handle and I found myself immediately stalled on the bottom of Rollins hill. After a half dozen unsuccessful kicks on the throttle I was finally back on the course, passing out gels and hydration to those in need! One of the highlights of the day for me was seeing the kids yell and wave for Spiderman as he zipped by on the little red scooter. I had the sensation of being an actual superhero and not just a weirdo riding around town in Spiderman pajamas.


Jim remained at the start/finish area welcoming the participants back. The finishing times ranged from under a half hour to under five and a half hours. Amazingly enough every sign throughout the course remained standing and every participant somehow was able to find their way back to the finish. To my dismay I did receive reports of many of the 10k runners who in the last 10th of a mile were misdirected down the trail and ended up running up to 4 extra miles before they realized that they were out for round 2! Upon investigating the situation, I noticed the final sign ("this way to finish") was cockeyed and pointing in a very wrong direction. My mind immediately coughed up a sleep deprived memory of placing these final signs about 4 in the morning. I remember sending Jim staggering out on the trail eyes rolled back in his head on the brink of falling asleep standing up. Minor technical error! So, the 10k had a bonus extended loop at the end... so the half marathon turned out to be over 14 miles... so the course ended up being on of the hilliest and challenging ones around. "Sure... but did you have fun?!"

We sure did. From working with awesome sponsors such as Tryathletics, to doing a road trip to Kansas City to promote the event (did anybody from K.C. even have the nerve to show?), completing the Chicken vs. Gorilla road race series, to a non-stop all nighter setup, it was always a great time. We are still laughing about it.


CHICKEN VS. GORILLA - AIR GUITAR COMPETITION

"Good afternnon ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We're preparing to take off shortly, but first could you please turn your attention to the gorilla at the front of the cabin for a few instructions.

Today's flight is non-smoking, featuring non-stop service to the halls of Valhalla. The on-board entertainment this afternoon is the Chicken vs. Gorilla Air Guitar Championship, Live!

Today's competition features many feats of insane airness, and anyone with metaphysical sensitivities is advised to avert their 3rd eye, or else view the competition through a pinhole camera. If you're an expecting mother, please keep as close to the performers as possible, as the supernatural vibration eminating from their air instruments are said to improve prenatal cognitive development.

In case one of the performers accidentally catches an air guitar on fire from friction, please panic, as we've lost our only air-fire extinguisher and invisible fire is extremely difficult to contain. In case of actual fire, please calmly proceed to the nearest exit. Thank you for flying Air Guitar."

- Chris Williams aka Air Guitar Gorilla God



Awesome, awesome performances at the Chicken vs Gorilla showdown! You had to be there to believe it! Every performer got a prize with the top rockers leaving with the booty. Killer performances from: Your Mom, Pumpkin G, Lori Brown - aka Carol of destruction of chaos, Glube-lube, Burn, Aunt Bitch'n, Uncle Rico, Runs in the Family, Dynamic Duo, Think'n bout it, Peter Parker, Albino Bear and many more. Keep rock'n!