250 crazed runners screamed and sprinted as gravity pulled them down the hill from the starting line of the XCX cross country extreme. Hurdling tents and dashing through a sandpit, they began their four + mile running adventure behind the Midway Expo Center in Columbia, MO. Video camera in hand, I was prepared to capture the experience on the course and the wonder of the spectators around me. Doubling in size from the year before, the event had become a visual feast of the bizarre. There were more costumed participants than I could count.
Photo by Sait Serkan GurbuzA wrestling match between a oversized Chicken and a foul mouthed gorilla was the first sign of the insanity about to come. Less than a half mile into the course, I was funneled into junk yard cage maze of lumber where I and the large group of runners around me were surrounded by walls of plywood and forced to climb over or under large wooden spools. The congested traffic made us easy prey for the hidden attackers that coated our ankles with silly string through holes in the plywood.
After escaping the junk yard, I arrived at row of a dozen horse jump hurdles. It definitely wasn't the height but the quantity that hurt the most. As I hurdled my way across, I could hear the loud crash of the runner behind me misjudging the height of the barrier and knocking the obstacle to the ground as he fell. "He is a goner, save yourself," I thought, knowing that if I glanced back for even a second the next hurdle would clip me to the ground. I could see from the corner of my eye billows of smoke and the sounds of explosions and screaming. The next obstacle was waiting.
The military crawl was another debut at this year's event. Twine was weaved knee high over a 100 foot rectangular stretch of grass. Wooden blocks created an unpredictable maze to the finish. Nine Inch Nails music was playing, and military clad volunteers were screaming at runners as firecrackers exploded and smoke bombs clouded visibility. It was survival mode, and it was wildly entertaining!
After outlasting the military crawl, I was able to escape to the dark forest. Almost immediately, I was attacked by chainsaw wielding zombies and forced to climb ropes up muddy banks, jump into mud pits, and race through creek beds. A bonus loop on this year's course was the pirate pond where decapitated heads hung from trees and One Eyed Willy looked on from his ship-wrecked inflatable kayak.
Back in October, participants in the Mayor's Cup were instructed to bring an ugly doll for unspecified reasons. They later learned in the rainstorm of the day that their doll must be sacrificed to the one eyed troll that lived in the tunnel under Taco Bell. Around 40 dolls were sacrificed that October day. Now, here at the XCX the dolls were back. Hung from the trees in a deep creek bed runners were surrounded by them! Suddenly a fart detector alarm came to life screaming, "Fart Detected! Fart Detected!" in a warning cry to the one eyed monster that waited ahead. Crawling through roots and the curtain of dolls, participants found themselves face to face with the One Eyed Purple People Eater! Singing and dancing to the tune of a decapitated cheerleader doll, he happily greeted us. The only way to escape was to climb the mud wall of the creek bed to higher ground.
The opening at the end of the dark forest revealed the long and painful "Saw Dust Hill." A long line of runners could be seen running/jogging/walking/crawling their way to the top. If the hill wasn't hard enough, there were photographers and zombies waiting at the top, as well as a long line of hay bales that needed to be climbed and jumped. At that point, runners were instructed to "DO ANOTHER LAP THROUGH THE WOODS!"
After four miles of so of this insanity, we were directed to the finish line. A bonfire, music, coffee from Kaldi's and bagels from B&B awaited. There was no prize for first place finisher in the race. Instead, finishers were awarded trophies for different age groups. These trophies were seven-pound cast-iron window weights, painted black and stenciled with the XCX initials. One of a kind indeed.
Special emphasis was placed on the costume contest with sponsor prizes given to the top ten. The first place costume won a pair of Spokiz glasses and a legacy of glory. This year's champion was Mike Tripp whose Zombie make up was frighteningly realistic. Close behind was Sam Dutrow with the amazing Zebra body paint and the ever-rocking band KISS!
Soon the party ended and participants began their voyage home. Muddy, wet and somewhat traumatized, they had traveled to this event for a common purpose: to have fun. Judging from people's expressions on the course, it was a grand adventure. I can only imagine the scene a year from now!
1 comment:
When my friends mentioned wanting to do this race I thought they were crazy. I went along with them and had a blast. I can't wait until next year!
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